


Oh my god, they were roommates

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Chaeyoung is Chan's best friend, Could you tell I was studying for my art history final when I wrote this?, Happy Ending, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I had no idea I wrote this much, I read it through I promise, I tagged only the characters with speaking rolls, Kissing, Lee Chan | Dino-centric, Light Angst, M/M, Maknae line deserves more, Mentioned Kim Dahyun, Mentioned Kim Mingyu, Mentioned Lee Seokmin | DK, Mentioned Xu Ming Hao | The8, My writing style is: has character but is bad, No Smut, OT3, Omg it's so many words, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Rated teen because they say fuck, The oldest is DK and he doesn't even have a line, Their ages don't matter so don't worry about it, Threesome - M/M/M, a little fluff, not really angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23895661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Chan is small and stressed and in love with his roommate and best friend, so of course, instead of dating him they date each other.Or, maknae line is cute together and I'm projecting my quarantine loneliness.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Boo Seungkwan/Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Lee Chan | Dino, Boo Seungkwan/Lee Chan | Dino, Chwe Hansol | Vernon/Lee Chan | Dino
Comments: 8
Kudos: 186





	Oh my god, they were roommates

**Author's Note:**

> The scenes are somewhat disjointed and there's no solid timeline and I use italics too much but I hope you like it.

When he looked down, the spot of blood was soaking into his shirt.

“Fuck,” he hissed. Too many shirts were lost, undeserving and innocent, to his slow reaction time.

Rushing to the bathroom sink, nose up in the air, Chan’s foot missed the doorway and instead hit the door jamb, the nerves of his pinky toe lighting up and drawing another, _fuuuuck,_ from him.

Still hissing, Chan leaned over the sink and watched the blood turn orange as it thinned, flowing down into the drain.

Thinking of how nice it would be to understand why some people got nosebleeds and others got lucky, he watched and waited and then thought about how he might try to keep data on how long he could make their last roll of toilet paper last before he would have to go and get more. The fact that they were out of tissues and paper towels as well made the issue more pressing. 

Chan thought he alone had probably been indirectly responsible for at least one whole acre of the Amazon rainforest and at least one year of late nights for whatever child labor slave was indubitably putting the plies of their toilet paper together.

“Chaaaaann,” before he could start thinking about the etymology of the word tissue, the bathroom door was pushed open, stopped by his own ass from where he stood next to the sink.

“Fuck, Vernon, watch it,” Chan pushed the door closed again with his foot, while Vernon groaned outside. “I could’ve been taking a shit.”

“You weren’t, the sink is on.”

“I could’ve been taking a shit with the sink on. Or,” he added as a more reasonable argument, “taking a shower.”

“Taking a shower and having the sink on, sound completely different.”

“Yeah, to perfectly decent and normal people, maybe, but we all know you can’t hear anymore, you listen to too much screamo.”

“Chan, come _on_. I need to go to the bathroom.”

“No, Vernon, go away, you’re being creepy.”

“Chaannn,” Vernon drawled again, turning the doorknob and trying to open the door again, “come on let me in, I’m really dying!”

Chan leaned half of his weight on the door-- just enough to keep Vernon out-- still bent over the sink, blood dripping and fanning into upside down paintings of flame on the porcelain.

“Not my problem, go next door, I'm pretty sure Mingyu never pees or showers-- or washes his hands really-- so I’m sure his bathroom’s yours for the taking.”

Vernon pushed the door open an inch, Chan’s body doing nothing at all to stop it except to keep it from opening more than that, but that was more Vernon’s concession than Chan’s small victory.

“Oh, Jesus, Chan, what the fuck? You get into a fight or something?”

“No, stupid, I’ve had a nosebleed before. I’ve even had a couple here, do you really not notice?”

Vernon scoffed, “Of course I’ve seen you with a tissue up your nose from time to time, but what the fuck are you doing? You look like a brooding serial killer.”

He sounded defensive but Chan held nothing against him for not having noticed before. This was only their second semester rooming together, and Chan had had whole nosebleeds with people in the room that hadn’t noticed a thing. He was just a pro like that.

Chan moved away from the door, not caring anymore to keep Vernon out.

“Wow, thanks, I’ve always wanted to give brooding serial killer vibes.” 

Both for emphasis and because he really did have to, he spit blood into the sink. Bubbles popped up on the porcelain like blowing through a straw into a pink milkshake.

“Damn, that’s nasty.”

Chan huffed, finding it a little funny, but mostly embarrassing and a lot exhausting.

“You haven’t seen nasty yet. If I smiled at you right now my nose would still be bleeding into my mouth and down my chin and my teeth would be all bloody. I think you’d die. And pee yourself, if you haven’t already.”

“I think you could make it work, but I do have to pee.”

“Go ahead, I’m obviously indisposed.”

Vernon went and then took a wad of toilet paper to give to Chan.

Chan took it without a word, still staring into the drain, and blew his nose into it.

As Vernon watched, a small spray of blood dusted Chan’s chin. It looked like a Quentin Tarantino movie or something.

“Isn’t your whole objective to _stop_ bleeding from your nose?”

Holding the toilet paper to his nose after throwing away the part of it he’d blown his nose into, Chan looked up to frown at Vernon, “Thanks for the advice, it’ll come in real handy in the future I’m sure. Not like I’ve had at least a thousand nosebleeds in my life or anything, and I’ve never thought of that. Stop the blood you say? Hmm, maybe I should try that one of these times, can’t even--”

“Shut up, asshole, Jesus, don’t you take anything seriously? I’m _genuinely_ curious about what the fuck you’re doing, so, what the fuck are you doing?”

Chan blew his nose again and to his apparent relief, a deep crimson _booger_ found homebase in the toilet paper. Chan folded it and wiped his nose with the clean part before throwing it away, not even bleeding anymore.

“Ugh, what the fuck? How did you do that? What the hell kind of nasty black magic shit did I just see?”

Still feeling the embarrassment and exhaustion but also glad it was over, Chan felt sort of good from Vernon’s attention.

Starting in low and serious he said, “You didn’t know, and I never wanted to tell you but,” Vernon mirrored his expression, just as serious, which Chan respected because he knew he still had blood on his face and teeth, “I’m the god of nosebleeds.”

Vernon laughed loud and stayed smiling even after Chan had grinned at him and turned back to the sink to clean himself up.

☆

“Channie, what do you think of Vernon?”

Chan coughed, choking on a foolishly large bite of rice. 

“You mean, my roommate?”

“Well, yeah.”

“....I don't get you.”

“Like.. Like is he an alright guy?”

“Uhm.. yeah? I don’t know, Kwan. You know him too.”

“Ugh, god, Chan, I mean,” and Seungkwan flushed pink, fidgeting, his hand rubbing at his forehead, looking the way he did when they’d taken the Western Art and Design midterm, “like, do you think he’d be decent to date?”

Chan guffawed, “ _Seungkwan!_ No! No way. Is this real? Are you really..?”

“Aw come on, Chan..”

“Oh my _god_ . Oh _my_ god! _Oh_ my _god_! Did you really just ask me that? Kwan, no, you don’t even know if he’s gay!”

“Well, Jesus, Chan. _You’re_ his roommate, I’d sorta hoped _you_ might know _that_ much. And anyways I don’t think he’d be gay, he’s obviously into girls, but he gives off a bi vibe, you know? I don’t know maybe my gaydar’s broken.”

At this, Chan laughed harder than before, but answered, “no, no, you’re right, he swings both ways.”

Seungkwan smiled a little, feeling silly, but equally amused at Chan for finding it all so funny, “But really, come on. You know what I mean. And you’re his _roommate_ , you of all people know how he _is_.”

Chan almost laughed again because the way he said it reminded him of, ‘ _oh my god, they were roommates_ ,’ but he got a hold of himself, his expression turning thoughtful, “yeah. Yeah, I do.”

Everyone was a little in love with Vernon and Vernon was definitely a little in love with himself, which disturbingly made it that much easier to like him.

Chan was pretty sure that his parents had never really accepted his own sexuality until they met Vernon, and from then on they were vehement about making sure that Chan ended up with that mild mannered and charming _Vernon_ boy, or at the very least stayed roommates with him, since he was ‘such a good influence’.

Chan didn’t think it was the right time to tell them that Vernon had been the first one to take him to a bar that didn’t card.

“I was thinking about asking him out sometime, but judging from your wistful sigh, I’m guessing I’m not the only one.”

“Well, obviously you’re not the only one, _stupid_. My girl friends won’t even study with me outside of my dorm anymore, and if he’s not there then I’d better not stop quizzing them on post-impressionism painters, or they’d snap out of it long enough to kill me.”

Seungkwan laughed but smacked him disapprovingly, “well, _obviously_ , but you know what I mean.”

Chan did know what he meant, but Chan’s long-suffering sigh had been for Seungkwan, not for Vernon. Seungkwan was slow, but he was smart and self possessed and laughed at all Chan’s jokes, and kept his cool in situations that Chan would be flustered, and had a really good taste in music. Chan was a little in love with both of them, which was usually fine because Chan was a little in love with everyone, but if they went exclusive… 

That would probably be too much.

“No. No, I have no claim to stake on him. We’ve roomed together for a year, I think at this point I don’t have a right to crush on him anymore.”

Seungkwan kicked him in the leg, “you have a _right_ to have a crush on whoever you want, Chan. But if you really don’t want him for yourself, then I should let you know, I _do_ plan to _romance_ him.”

Chan’s grimace from Seungkwan’s kick to his leg became a laugh again, and Chan spent the rest of lunch _not_ being sad.

☆

“Hey, Chan,” Vernon said it like he was visiting Chan in the hospital or showing him his report card.

“Did you step in dog shit wearing my shoes again?”

“What? No, why would you--”

“Did you break the microwave again?”

“No--”

“Overflow the sink? The toilet?”

“Hey, you can’t just--”

“Did you take an expired med? Did you take an expired med on _purpose_?”

“No, I--”

Chan gasped, high and sharp, “Oh my god, Vernon, you did not crash my car!”

Vernon laughed, but didn’t know whether the accusation was real or a joke. Chan was a pretty good actor if he wanted to pull off a joke.

“No, nothing like that, stop accusing me of shit, I don’t even deserve this interrogation--”

“Vernon, you’ve done all of those things before!”

“What? No I haven’t, I’ve never taken an expired med on purpose, or overflown the toilet, and I didn’t _crash_ your car, it’s just a little scratched, it’s fine.” Vernon was blushing and Chan was having a wonderful time.

“So, you admit to everything else then?”

“Yes, okay. Yes, I know, I’m stupid, I get it. Jesus, why do I even tolerate this abuse anymore? I should move. Do you think Mingyu would take another roommate? Nevermind, I don’t trust your opinion. I’ll be out by morning, bye forever.” 

With this, Vernon made to leave, but Chan grabbed a pillow next to his head and threw it at him from the couch, “get back here, I can’t pay rent alone, and while it’s true, you are stupid,” he clutched his chest as he said swooningly, “I cannot _bear_ to live without you.”

How true it was, but Vernon would need a miracle to get it out of him with any hint of sincerity.

Vernon laughed and sat on the other end of the couch where Chan’s feet were. Chan swept his feet into Vernon’s lap and felt like dying when he didn’t push him off.

When Vernon stopped laughing, Chan remembered the way he had sounded when he came in. If he hadn’t crashed the car, then what’d he sound so morbid for?

“What’s up, Vernon?”

“What? Oh, uhm, I just wanted to ask your opinion on something.”

“Well, what is it?”

“...Did you know that Kwannie and I hang out sometimes?”

If Chan wasn’t such a coward he definitely would have adopted Vernon’s nickname for Seungkwan when he started to use it. Ever since Chan had introduced them, Seungkwan was Kwannie to Vernon.

(“Vernon, this is my friend, Seungkwan-ssi, we’re in Western Design together, and he’s like my best friend now. At least, until you buy us a couch, then maybe we’ll talk.”

Vernon and Seungkwan laughed and Seungkwan stuck his hand out, “I think Chan’s gonna call me Seungkwan-ssi for a while just to spite me, but I go by Seunkwan or Kwan or just Kwannie if you want.”

Vernon grinned, “Oh I definitely want Kwannie, that’s nice.”)

This whole interaction had hopelessly endeared Chan to both of them, even if he wasn’t ready to call it how it was at the time, and now that he thought about it, it had probably endeared Seungkwan to Vernon just as hopelessly.

“No, not really, but you guys are getting along really well now, I guess.”

“Yeah, we are, and I... he, uhm.. sort of asked me out, I think.”

Vernon wasn’t looking in his direction but Chan watched and waited for him to continue. 

Vernon fidgeted with Chan’s shoelaces in his lap, quiet.

“God, did you say yes? Or are you _coming out_ again, I’m confused.”

Vernon looked up at him, not even smiling, which made Chan’s stomach sink because if he couldn’t lighten the atmosphere then he wouldn’t be able to deal with this situation much longer.

While Chan struggled to maintain eye contact, Vernon said, “I said sure, but that isn’t _weird_ for you? I feel kind of weird, I mean, he was your friend first, and I mean, we... I don’t know. That’s not weird to you?”

Honestly, it wasn’t _weird_ to Chan at all, he felt it was perfectly predictable that everyone he considered worthwhile and attractive would go out and date each other, why wouldn’t they? He would’ve if he was at all capable of making the first move, but he wasn’t, so now he got to sit on the couch his cute roommate bought for them, and listen while the very same cute roommate talked about his pretty deskmate, because Chan wasn’t the only one special enough to find the both of them attractive.

“Not really, but if it’s weird for you then you don’t have to feel obligated or anything. If you reject him, I’m sure he’ll be chill enough to stay friends and not be creepy or pervy or anything, he’s not that type of guy.” 

Of course Chan was dying a little with every passing second, but he prided himself on his ability to take his always-the-bridesmaid-never-the-bride-itis in stride, and would never intentionally give bad advice.

“And if you’re worried about me, don’t be. If you two get together and then break up or something I’ll still expect you both to be perfectly civil for me, or else.” With that, Chan raised his eyebrows coolly, finally getting Vernon to change up from his kicked puppy look to a smile.

“Well if it’s okay with you, I guess I’ll.. look forward to it then.”

Chan nodded cooperatively and then dismissed himself to go listen to an Adele playlist in his room by himself.

☆

“Will Vernon be there?”

“Chaeyoung, I told you, he has a boyfriend now.”

Chaeyoung didn’t even look away from her laptop, “yeah, and I _told_ you, I don’t believe you.”

Chan laughed, a little hysterically; Chaeyoung was just frustrating like that sometimes.

“Why? What do I have to gain by lying about my roommates relationship status?”

“Well, first of all, literally so much. If I was a random potential hookup for Vernon, then telling me he was taken would spare you of sex sounds through those thin dorm walls of yours. And, if I was a potential random hookup for you, which, I know you’re gay,” Chan could feel himself losing leverage in a debate that wasn’t even real, “but this is all hypothetical, then taking him out of the picture would leave me to consider you a viable option.” 

Chan cheshire-cat grinned, “Oh please, I know I’d be your first choice if I swung that way.”

“Uh _no_ , you totally wouldn’t. You don’t even know how to do your own laundry. I totally get why you’ve only been in one relationship-- you can’t even function-- you’re an actual disaster.”

He laughed. No one could humble him quicker than that.

“Also, just by saying Vernon was gay,” _god, she really doesn’t know when to quit_ , “you avoid girls trying to use you to get to him, which I’m not doing by the way, I like you fine as a person-- but I do like Vernon better. And of course, the most ultimate: if you wanted him for yourself, extremely selfish of you if you do, then saying he had a boyfriend would make it all too easy to _become_ the boyfriend.”

Chan thought she might’ve had a real point with the last idea, but was unphased.

“Chaeng, please, he really does have a boyfriend, I promise you. You’ve even met the guy before, do you remember my friend Seungkwan from my design class? I’m the one who introduced them too, so I guess you could blame Vernon’s taken-ness on me, but he _is_ taken.”

Chaeyoung looked at him and frowned.

“Yeah, I know, it’s tragic. Your children would have been beautiful I’m sure, but you’ll have to get over it.” 

She huffed, “But that doesn’t matter, I just always thought that you--”

_Chiring chiring. Chiring Chiring._

Chan shuffled through his bag, grabbing out his phone and hitting the green call button, “Hello? What’s up?-- sorry, Chaeng, just gimme a minute-- yeah, sure.”

☆

“Hey, Vernon?”

“Yeah?”

“Where are we going?”

Supposedly _over it_ as Chan was, who wasn’t whipped for Vernon? So when he had taken Chan’s car keys and said they were going to go out for ‘quality roommate time’ and ‘date night’-- Vernon had referred to it as both-- who was Chan to refuse?

“It’s a surprise! I can’t tell you, that would be dumb of me.”

“ _Most_ things you do seem a little dumb of you, really.”

Vernon smacked him, but didn’t say anything as a construction worker motioned for him to pull forward by some roadwork.

Once they passed the huge threatening light up arrow signs pointing in directions that did not make total sense to Chan, a movie theater popped up and Vernon pulled into the parking lot.

“This seems like the kind of surprise you could have told me about on the way.”

Chan looked over to Vernon as they got out of the car, doors slamming behind them.

Vernon had a whole pout on his face when he said, “but you love the movies. And, I wanted to go movie hopping with you.”

“Oh! Sorry, no, you’re totally right, that is a surprise.”

Vernon still frowning, Chan went on, “really, it is! I've never done that before and I’ve always wanted to try it!”

For that, Vernon smiled, turning to walk toward the theater. “I know. You told me about how your mom did it when she was a teenager but never let you do it when she was with you.”

Chan was a little surprised at his memory, “Yeah, I guess I did. Why now though? I didn’t forget my own birthday or anything, did I? Is it the anniversary of our friendship? Did you accomplish something? Am I supposed to congratulate you?”

Vernon laughed, “No, you’re off the hook. I just wanted to hang out with you outside of the dorm. It feels different, hanging out with Kwannie more than you. And then, when we are hanging out, Kwannie’s there too, and I mean, of course I love hanging out with both of you together, but I don’t think we’ve had a conversation, just the two of us, for at least a week.”

“I guess you're right. Maybe if you’d stop ditching me for my best friend, then we’d talk more, but alas here we are,” Chan opened the theater doors for Vernon as punctuation.

Instead of laughing, Vernon frowned, but walked in, “Chan, I really don’t mean to. If you want to spend more time together, I’ll make time for you. And I don’t want you to feel like I’m stealing Kwannie either, but if you feel like a third wheel when we’re all together--”

“Then, we’ll just be a tricycle, but I get to be the front wheel.”

Vernon smiled, “Okay, sure. But, I _am_ serious, Chan. I don’t want you to feel excluded.”

 _Oh my god_. Chan might have swooned at how genuine he sounded. Chivalry was far from dead and its name was Chwe Vernon. Chan felt his face heat up, glad that Vernon had turned to order popcorn-- because you’re fake if you don’t get a large buttery popcorn at the movies.

☆

“Chan, would you go on a date with me? If I asked?”

If Seungkwan kept saying shocking things while Chan was eating, one of these days he’d have to be the one to drive him to the emergency room.

When he finished choking on the catch of the day, Lucky Charms at noon, he asked, “What? Like hypothetically? Like before you and Vernon were dating or something? Are you asking me so you can set me up with a twin brother or something? I’m confused.”

They were at Vernon and Chan’s dorm, but Vernon was out. It was Friday, and on some weekends Vernon went home to visit his parents and sister. Chan did sometimes too, but some of the other kids in Seungkwan and his Art and Design class were hosting a review session at the library on Saturday morning and he and Seungkwan both agreed they’d fail if all they did to review was be confused in each other’s company.

Seungkwan was staying the night, but had gotten here before noon-- just early enough to watch Chan separate the marshmallows from the chaff of the Lucky Charms, preparing it for an early lunch.

“Doesn’t matter,” Seungkwan waved his hand, like Chan’s questions were pesky mosquitoes that he was shooing away, but the corners of his mouth were turned up. “Just answer the question. Would you go out with me if I asked?”

Chan stared at him for a second too long, taking double time to consider the question seriously, and seriously consider Seungkwan’s state of mind. 

Finally, he answered, “ _Hypothetically_ , I would date you if you were still single. If you asked me out, anyways. You know I’m too emotionally constipated to make any moves myself.”

Said between bites of cereal, it sounded hesitant. Tentative. Chan hoped Seungkwan wouldn’t think of it as hesitance but as the sweet satisfaction of eating Lucky Charms-- marshmallows only-- for lunch. Chan certainly wouldn’t have gotten away with it if Vernon had been around.

“But, I thought you liked Vernon.”

Not for the first time-- and not for the last-- Chan considered whether he should just make a point of not eating at all in front of Seungkwan until he got the message and stopped choking him.

Seungkwan patted him on the back as he coughed. What was the point of getting to eat pure sugar for lunch if he couldn’t even enjoy it?

“Kwan, I told you when you talked to me about asking him out, that ship has sailed. If I wanted to fuck my roommate I probably should’ve done it before room assignments were permanent. I don’t want any drama. Plus, you’re together now, why does it matter how I feel? I’m happy for you both and that’s all you need to think about.”

Chan hustled the rest of the Lucky Charms into his mouth and went to the bathroom sink to wash out the bowl. (They just don’t have a kitchen-- and that’s bullshit but whatever.)

Seungkwan followed him from where they had been sitting on the ground by the coffee table, but Chan turned and handed him the empty bowl and spoon and announced he was taking a shower.

He had taken one before Seungkwan got there, but he didn’t want to continue this conversation and was even less tactless than Seungkwan himself.

☆

“Chan, when are you gonna come out? I need to go to the bathroom!”

Seungkwan’s knocking at the door was barely more distinguishable than his words through the roar of the water. The door was locked and Chan wanted to keep it that way for as long as possible. The shower walls were transparent, and there was a difference between pissing next to another guy, and being naked next to your crush while he was pissing.

“Go next door to Mingyu and Minghao’s, I’m having a shower concert and they’re asking for an encore.”

Chan thought Seungkwan would probably find that more annoying and stupid than funny, but he didn’t really care. As long as it would get Seungkwan to leave him alone for a few more minutes.

When he got out of the shower, Seungkwan wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen/laundry room, so Chan assumed he had taken him upon his suggestion of taking advantage of Mingyu’s bathroom. He got dressed and when he came back to the living room, Seungkwan was back, sitting on the couch.

He had been staring at nothing before Chan came in, and when he noticed Chan, he snapped out of his daze and smiled delicately at Chan. He remained tense as Chan sat down, like he was afraid that any sudden movements would set him off and send him scurrying back to the shower like a squirrel into a tree.

Going for a light atmosphere, Chan let himself fall backward into the couch, a respectable distance away from Seungkwan, and kicked his feet up on the coffee table, saying, “What have you gotten on the practice tests Lee has given us so far. I guarantee I’ve done better than you.”

“Oh yeah? I don’t think so. I may be hopeless but you act like you couldn’t even define post-impressionism.”

Letting himself forget the tension, Chan became slightly nervous at that comment. “What do you mean? It’s just.. after.. impressionism… Right? I mean that’s what that means.”

Seungkwan smirked at him, just a little, “you should be grateful you’re cute, because you are very stupid.”

Chan gaped at him, “How dare you! I’ve never been so blatantly insulted in my entire life! And god! You can’t even leave it at stupid? You have to say _very_ stupid? Ugh! You absolute asshole, and to think I was going to let you sleep here tonight.”

In the middle of laughing very hard, it took Seungkwan a second to get serious enough to ask, “What do you mean? I’m still staying here tonight.”

“Nuh uh. No way. No how. You’re leaving right now. Just your presence is an insult to my intelligence. And I don’t expect you to show your face here ever again, because if you do, I’ll show you that brains are nothing over brawn.”

With this threat, and Seungkwan still laughing, Chan grabbed Seungkwan’s hand and pulled him off the couch to the door. He opened the door and grabbed Seungkwan’s shoes, throwing them out into the hallway, soon followed by his bag, and then immediately after, Seungkwan himself.

When he closed the door behind him, Chan locked it, but watched, smiling, through the peephole while Seungkwan composed himself and gathered his belongings, and smiling as well said, “Ah, really, Chan, you can’t just kick me out.”

“Why not? It’s only one in the afternoon. I’m sure you’ll get home fine.”

“Come on, I thought we were going to study together. Or at the very least, avoid studying by watching Dance Moms or something. You invited me here!”

“Maybe I did, but not for you to come in and insult me. I have enough respect for myself to know I’m worth more than that.”

“Of course you are. I’m very sorry for calling you stupid. You’re very smart, even if you are also a little bit stupid. And you are certainly worth more than that, and I’d fight anyone that thought differently. Now can I please come in?”

Not knowing what else to do at that point, Chan laughed without much energy, blushing and unlocking the door.

☆

Very wisely, Chan rejected Seungkwan’s offer of a last study session the night before the design final, opting for a more focused environment by himself.

When he explained this reasoning to Seungkwan, Seungkwan decided it was a very good idea, and turned Vernon away from his own dorm, claiming he need to be alone because Vernon would distract him with his ‘beautiful face and stupid brain.’

Somewhat insulted, but mostly amused, Vernon was with Chan at their apartment, trying to be as least distracting as possible, while Chan muttered the names of 1800’s artists like a witches spell.

Needless to say, Vernon was very surprised when Chan called him over to ask him for help with his flashcards.

“Uh, olla? O _ll_ a (o-yah)? Ah-lla? I don’t know how to say it, it looks Spanish.”

“Oh, that was-- uhm-- oh! Maria Martinez?”

“Yeah, yeah, you got it.”

“Okay, what’s next?”

Vernon flipped to the next card for a second, deliberating. “Let’s take a break for a minute, you’ve been doing this for an hour straight and it’s already eleven. Have you had dinner yet? You came back from the library pretty late.”

“No, no, it doesn’t matter, this is the last set anyways, let’s just finish and then I’ll go to bed.”

“Uh, yeah, no, I’m getting you dinner. A lot of use you’ll be tomorrow if you pass out before you even start the test like last semester with your physics final.”

As Vernon stood up from the floor of Chan’s room, Chan followed. “Excuse you, I did not pass out, I just _almost_ passed out. I didn’t even throw up, so fuck you. And give me back my flashcards,” he reached around Vernon to take them from his hands, “you can order takeout or something, I don’t care, I’ll pay for it, but let me finish studying at least.”

Vernon was taller than him, and certainly, his arms were longer, so when he stopped and lifted Chan’s flashcards above his head, Chan’s struggles to reach for them became futile.

Chan stopped and huffed after another moment's efforts, frowning at Vernon, or rather, pouting really.

Vernon had only to lean forward a few inches to press his lips to Chan’s, and he did so, and Chan wasted only a few seconds to remember himself, shoving Vernon off and looking shocked.

Vernon had dropped the flashcards in the exchange, but neither noticed, as Vernon said, “oh god, oh fuck, I’m sorry, I should’ve as--”

But Chan had fled into his room, slamming and locking the door behind him.

☆

Chan’s final wasn’t until noon, which was good, because he barely slept the whole night.

He and Seungkwan had made plans to leave together from Vernon and Chan’s apartment, but the second he heard the front door close behind Vernon, leaving for work, he grabbed a suitcase he had packed between hours of half consciousness in the night, and his bookbag, and bolted out the door.

Ten minutes to eight, Chan knocked on Chaeyoung’s apartment door.

She lived off campus with four other girls, all of whom also went to the university. On second thought, Chan thought it might’ve been better thought out to go to Seokmin’s dorm, or even his parents house. They lived an hour away, but at least they had a spare room, and Chan considered an hour of commuting the lesser of evils in his current situation.

But when Chaeyoung’s roommate, Mina, opened the door, she recognized him instantly and ushered him in, looking concerned to see the suitcase wheeling in behind him, but taking his bag immediately and pulling him into the living room.

Chaeyoung and one of her other roommates, Chan thought her name was Tzuyu but he couldn’t remember for sure, were sitting on their couch but got up when they saw him.

“What’s wrong, Chan? What’s with the suitcase? You get disowned or something?” Chaeyoung sounded conflicted between genuine concern and trying to lighten the atmosphere already.

In a decidedly more serious tone, Mina asked, “Vernon didn’t.. kick you out, did he?”

Mina and Chan weren’t very close, but Chan had spent plenty of time at Chaeyoung’s apartment. And of course, Chaeyoung had had a massive crush on Vernon for the first couple of weeks after Chan had introduced them, so Chan was sure all the girls knew very well who Vernon was.

“What? No way, he wouldn’t do that.” Chaeyoung sounded affronted, but then directed to Chan, “he wouldn’t _do that_ , would he?”

Chan shook his head, and opened his mouth to explain, but very quickly burst into tears, dropping his bag, and not resisting when Chaeyoung pulled him into her for a hug, Mina patting his back and Tzuyu looking awkward but worried nonetheless.

The girls made him breakfast while he told them the full story, through many tears.

“I don’t know if he’s just messing with me, or if he’s serious and is gonna break up with Seungkwan. I don’t _want_ him to break up with Seungkwan, I could never date him at Seungkwan’s expense. But if he’s just messing with me, then obviously I have to move, if he’s just gonna be an asshole. But then, should I tell Seungkwan? I would have to, wouldn’t I? He would want to know why I moved, and then why I stopped hanging out with Vernon. Oh god, oh god, what the fuck am I supposed to do?”

“Look, babe, I don’t mean to be a bitch or anything, but pull yourself together, you have a final in two hours, and however this pans out, you don’t deserve to retake Western Design for some fickle fuckboy.”

“Considerate as ever, Tzu.”

“I’m just telling him how it is. If he’s gonna be staying here with us, then he’s gonna have to get used to it.”

“I guess you’re right. Do you have tylenol or something, Chaeyoung? All these emotions are giving me a headache.”

“I think that’s probably the fact that you haven’t slept or eaten in the last twelve hours, but there’s advil in that drawer.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, you obviously have to talk to them both. We don’t have the room for a permanent sixth roommate, and Dahyun’s not going to like having a boy around even if it is temporary, and even if he is gay.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about her. She’s right then, Chan, you have to work this out. Or stay with Seokmin, because Dahyun’s not gonna be able to put up this much dick-energy for more than a week. You should go see Seungkwan. _After_ your final, of course, we can’t have you confused and emotional while trying to remember Van Gogh’s confused and emotional mental state at the time he painted Starry Night. You’d explode. And you don’t have to do it today, but you’d better do it soon.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“God, though, this is so _weird_.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, you know how I didn’t believe that Vernon had a boyfriend, until I saw them in person. It’s only that I really just thought that Vernon sort of always liked you.”

Chan nearly choked on his second advil. He was making a bad habit of that.

“ _What?_ Why? Are you stupid?”

Chaeyoung scoffed, “No, asshole, but the fact that he’s a total fuckboy and he never brought anyone home after you moved in is a little sketchy, don’t you think?”

“Vernon’s not a fuckboy though, he’s just popular.”

“Yeah, of course, you’d say that, because he’s always nothing but genuine with you, but I’ve seen him with other girls and guys before. Hell, he even flirted with me, when you first introduced us.”

“Well, yeah, he flirts with me too, even now.” Chan blushed, thinking about Vernon kissing him, but then feeling guilty again. “You know, besides him kissing me.”

“Yeah, but he used to be all shy and serious with you. He didn’t start flirting with you until you’d gotten to know each other. I thought for sure he liked you, so when you said he had a boyfriend, and it _wasn’t_ you, I couldn’t even believe it.”

Chan said, “you’re crazy,” but thought about what she’d said until he sat down in front of a test booklet at noon, two hours later.

☆

The day before his deadline of one week, straight from Dahyun herself, he made plans to meet Seungkwan for dinner.

The girls all wished him luck before he left, but it did nothing to soothe his nerves as he drove downtown to the established meeting point. 

He felt a little as though he was on his way to a high risk drug deal, as he parked his car and walked around the corner to the restaurant.

Once he got inside he saw Seungkwan sitting at a booth near the back, and started to move towards him when he saw Vernon, head ducked, sitting next to him.

Chan and Seungkwan made brief eye contact before Chan turned quickly to go back out.

“No, Chan-- wait!”

But Chan moved through people toward the exit, feeling a little like he had to throw up, but mostly he just wanted to get in the car and drive away. Maybe to his parents house, or maybe even to the airport. Just jump on a plane and go to Antarctica and live out the rest of his days there.

Someone caught him by the arm just after he made it outside the door. He turned to see Vernon, and shrugged him off, “Let go, Vernon. I don’t really want to talk to you right now.”

Vernon looked hurt, but said nothing as Seungkwan caught up with them.

“Come on, Chan, don’t be such a headass.”

Chan glared at Seungkwan, “Oh shut the fuck up, like you have any right to tell me how to feel.”

“Back off, I know you’re upset--”

“Well, yeah. I am upset. I would think you would be too, if Vernon’s told you the full story. I wouldn’t have taken you for someone who tolerated a cheater, or a player, for that matter.”

Vernon looked incredulous.

“I did not _cheat_. On. Him. And I’m not a fucking ‘player’ either, you dumbass, but you’re so oblivious I guess I shouldn’t expect anything else. Let’s go, Kwannie, he obviously wants nothing to do with us.”

“Damn it, Vernon!” Seungkwan smacked the back of his head, “If you would just shut up for a second!”

Chan made to leave, but Seungkwan held him back, “Chan, wait, we have to tell you something. And if you want to leave after we tell you, that’s fine, but it’s the kind of thing you can’t say over text. Not that I think you’re reading our texts anyways, but--”

Seungkwan finished abruptly as Chan turned to look back at him, not glaring, just exhausted.

“Chan, Vernon didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable-- it’s hard to explain-- do you remember a couple weeks ago when I was staying over at your dorm, and I asked you if you would, ‘hypothetically,’ go out with me?”

Chan blushed and looked away, but nodded. He had a feeling he knew where this was going and another feeling that he was going to melt into the sidewalk before it got there, but he had stayed completely solid all the last couple of months, maybe he would only get a little melty.

“Well, I was sort of trying to ask you out for real, and the reason I kept pushing even when you brought up Vernon is because, we were sort of, maybe-- if you don’t think it’s weird-- interested in being with you, all together?”

Chan felt tight knots in his stomach, and his feet were already sticking to the ground, melting as he was. He felt the hot pain of headache, and long periods of crying, prik behind his eyes, and he was sure if he looked at either of them he would actually throw up.

So naturally, he made the mistake of looking behind Seungkwan to Vernon, and had to turn at once to throw up against the wall of the restaurant they had meant to have dinner in.

“Oh my god! Chan, what’s wrong?” Seungkwan sort of grabbed him from behind before realizing himself and backing off, but Chan saw Vernon come up to his side through a haze of vomit smell and his periphery, and felt his arm around him, and his steady hold on Chan’s shoulder.

“Oh no. He hates us and thinks we’re disgusting. I bet he’d call us mormon fags if he was heartless enough.. and if we hadn’t just made him upchuck his lunch after already keeping him from dinner.”

Chan laughed, but really just wheezed while smiling a little. “Ugh god, I do hate you, that was Mina’s encouragement lunch I just threw up, so thanks for that.”

“Damn. Kwannie, did you know I was so ugly that just _looking_ at my face could make a perfectly normal gay guy toss his lunch like that? I can’t believe you’ve ever even kissed me, you _must_ be blind.”

Chan stood up and shook Vernon off, the corners of his mouth still turned up weakly.

Seungkwan was standing behind them still, looking worried and confused, as they turned to face him. Always one for dauntless confrontation, but never one to hang with the tone-whiplash characteristic of most exchanges between Vernon and Chan.

“Aw, you look terrified, Kwannie, it’s okay, Chan’s coming back to the dorm tonight at the _ver_ y least.” Vernon turned and raised his eyebrows at Chan, challenging him to contradict his very accurate read of Chan’s emotional state.

Chan stared dazedly back at him for a second before turning sharply to Seungkwan, “yeah, Kwan, I’ll come home with you guys tonight. But,” he looked at Vernon, “I’m not having sex with you.”

Vernon bursted out laughing, clutching Seungkwan, who smiled a little.

Chan continued, smiling wider, “You and Kwan can sleep in your room, but I get my own bed, that is, if you haven’t rented my room out to anyone yet. I hate being sexiled, but the last week was like another level of sexile, like a metaphorical sexile or something. It was _too_ weird.”

“Oh my god, Chan, you have to stop saying sexile, Vernon’s gonna start crying.” At this point, Seungkwan was half supporting Vernon as he laughed, but his grin was infectious and they were all a little hysterical at the situation anyways.

“Come on, Vernonie, let’s go home,” Chan came around him and put an arm around Vernon’s shoulders, then looked over at Seungkwan on Vernon’s other side, “and we’ll talk about everything else later, okay?”

“Okay.”

☆

“Planning to run away again, Channie?”

Chan startled after turning on the living room light, jumping backward and clutching his chest as Seungkwan laughed.

“And if I was? You wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“I don’t know if you’re insulting my strength or just making an observation, but I feel offended.”

“I meant it as an observation, but you could always use a good put down.” Chan sat down on the edge of the couch, folding his legs up under him to face Seungkwan. 

“Rude,” but Seungkwan smiled.

The clock on the cable box display read a glaring _3:17 AM_ , and Seungkwan looked as tired as Chan felt.

“Why are you up?”

Chan could see Seungkwan make the conscious effort not to say, _I could ask you the same_ , and instead respond with, “I was waiting for you.”

Chan raised his eyebrows. “Did you really think I would try to escape?”

“No, Channie, I just thought you might not sleep and I wanted to be here for you to talk things out with if you didn’t. And clearly, I was right to do so.”

“Who says? Maybe I just have to pee. Maybe I’m hungry. Leftover takeout does not make up for skipping lunch and dinner. Maybe, I don’t want to talk anything out.”

Chan leaned his head on the couch cushion at his side, and it was a show of how tired he really was that he maintained eye contact with Seungkwan, when his expression changed from exhausted to anxious.

“Channie, I know we kind of sprung this on you, and then Vernon got you in a corner to come back here with us, but you don’t have to make any decisions now. If you want, Vernon can stay with me for a while and you can think things over. If you want… we can pretend like nothing ever happened.”

Seungkwan didn’t look like he could pretend like nothing ever happened, but Chan knew that if he said that’s what he wanted, Seungkwan would make his best effort to make it happen.

“It’s okay, Kwan, you don’t have to go, or worry about anything. I’m okay. And, I’ve made a decision already.”

Seungkwan raised his eyebrows, questioning just as Chan had, “oh yeah?”

“Yeah, but it’s a secret, you have to come closer if you want to know.”

Chan grinned and Seungkwan slid closer to Chan at the end of the couch and Chan cupped a hand around his ear, ready to whisper his ‘secret.’

When Chan didn’t say anything for a minute, Seungkwan turned his head to face him and Chan kissed him on the lips.

“I think I’ll be doing all the surprise kissing from now on, if you and Vernonie don’t mind.”

**Author's Note:**

> My favorite scene was the lucky charms one and I'm sorry for the last two scenes, I'm bad at writing confrontation if you didn't notice.


End file.
